Telegraph columnist cries about the Sussexes’ ‘performative hand-holding’
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have always been very tactile with each other. It’s their love language, to be physically connected, to hold hands or put their hands on each other’s backs. It’s always been that way, from the very start of their relationship. Big Red truly looks for any reason to stay physically connected to his wife and he’s always reaching out his hand to Meghan, or touching her hair or looking heartbroken and lovesick when she’s speaking to another man. The only “bad” thing about their hand-holding is that Meghan is a lot shorter than him and she really has to scurry to keep up with his pace when they’re walking together and holding hands. Of course, that’s not the complaint of this new and absolutely unhinged Telegraph column which has gone minorly viral. Telegraph columnist Judith Woods wrote: “Sorry, Harry and Meghan, but your performative hand-holding fools no one.” The kicker is the subhead: “These two clearly want it to be known that they are inseparable – and nothing like William and Kate.” Oh, that’s an unintentional confession, huh.
Right. That’s it. Does anyone have a pair of bolt cutters? Or maybe a water cannon? Because frankly, I think that’s the only way we can stop Harry and Meghan from holding hands. Like so many other things about them, it is fingernails-down-the-blackboard grating. Annoying. And so g-ddamn performative.
The whole “young and so very much in love, not like frosty and uptight William and Kate” routine has worn thinner than a cigarette paper. Harry is 39; Meghan is 42. They have two offspring, aged four and two. Nobody has free hands at that age and stage; they are either full of squirming children or their ridiculously bulky paraphernalia. Any free hand is for patting down your partner’s body to find the car keys. Fact.
“Every time I see those two holding hands, it triggers me,” confesses a colleague who also has a brace of little ones. “It’s inauthentic, it’s unbelievable, it makes me want to scream because it bears no resemblance to the realities of parenthood.”
We know Meghan is (whisper it) “a hugger” as well as being “one of the most influential women in the world” according to the couple’s new website, which means it must be true. Doesn’t she grasp that clinging on to her husband’s arms all the time isn’t feminist? Quite the opposite: it projects a bizarre image of childishness and codependence.
The irony is that Harry, formerly known as Prince, is a man who knows exactly what to do with empty hands. He was born into it. It was bred into him. It’s pretty much the USP of Windsor man 1.0; slip one hand into the jacket pocket, occasionally open a button, close the button, hands behind the back, pause and repeat.
Again, they’re painting Meghan as aggressively forcing Harry to hold her hand – they’ve “blamed” Meghan for the hand-holding for years, as if she alone is doing it. Please, Harry is the one reaching out for her 90% of the time. Meghan is his security blanket – he feels more confident when he’s physically connected to her. Anyway, this whole column is giving Bitter Karen. Imagine having such strong negative opinions about a married couple holding hands? Imagine setting up William and Kate like that too. I guess that’s what these people really want to talk about – why do Harry and Meghan have to look so loved up, why can’t they look at each other with spite and disgust like Will and Kate? Why can’t Harry wince when Meghan touches him, like William winces whenever Kate tries to grope his ass in public?
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle were spotted at the Whistler Resort for the 1-year countdown to the Invictus Games. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 14 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle were spotted at the Whistler Resort for the 1-year countdown to the Invictus Games. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 14 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle were spotted at the Whistler Resort for the 1-year countdown to the Invictus Games. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 14 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were seen at the One Year to Go Event, a significant milestone leading up to the Invictus Games. These games are an international adaptive multi-sport event, created by Prince Harry, which bring together wounded, injured, or sick armed services personnel and veterans to compete in various sports. The event serves as a celebration of the strength and resilience of these individuals, providing a platform for them to showcase their abilities and inspire others. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 15 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were seen at the One Year to Go Event, a significant milestone leading up to the Invictus Games. These games are an international adaptive multi-sport event, created by Prince Harry, which bring together wounded, injured, or sick armed services personnel and veterans to compete in various sports. The event serves as a celebration of the strength and resilience of these individuals, providing a platform for them to showcase their abilities and inspire others. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 15 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were seen at the One Year to Go Event, a significant milestone leading up to the Invictus Games. These games are an international adaptive multi-sport event, created by Prince Harry, which bring together wounded, injured, or sick armed services personnel and veterans to compete in various sports. The event serves as a celebration of the strength and resilience of these individuals, providing a platform for them to showcase their abilities and inspire others. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 15 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Whistler, CANADA – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were seen at the One Year to Go Event, a significant milestone leading up to the Invictus Games. These games are an international adaptive multi-sport event, created by Prince Harry, which bring together wounded, injured, or sick armed services personnel and veterans to compete in various sports. The event serves as a celebration of the strength and resilience of these individuals, providing a platform for them to showcase their abilities and inspire others. Pictured: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle BACKGRID USA 15 FEBRUARY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
- Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex attending the One Year to Go Event before the Invictus Games Vancouver Whistler 2025 at Mountain Square Featuring: Meghan, Duchess of Sussex Where: Whistler, Canada When: 14 Feb 2024 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/Cover Images **NOT AVAILABLE FOR PUBLICATION IN THE NETHERLANDS OR FRANCE**
- Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex attending the One Year to Go Event before the Invictus Games Vancouver Whistler 2025 at Mountain Square Featuring: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex Where: Whistler, Canada When: 14 Feb 2024 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/Cover Images **NOT AVAILABLE FOR PUBLICATION IN THE NETHERLANDS OR FRANCE**
