Is there something wrong with Kelly Bensimon’s bikini body?

Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon showed off her bikini body yesterday in Miami. Now… here’s the thing: I don’t like to get all judgy about alleged “imperfections” in ladies’ bikini bodies. I think confidence goes a long way, and nobody is perfect, so I embrace most women who put themselves out there in a bikini, just because I haven’t put myself out there in a bikini in years. Should I embrace Kelly and her imperfect body? As much as I’d like to, I suspect her abdomen looks so jacked because she had some budget liposuction. I mean, that has to be the explanation for it, in my mind. Otherwise, I have no idea what would make her appear so… lumpy.

One of the few things I know about Kelly is about her appearance on the cover of Playboy a few months ago. Maybe it was airbrush/Photoshop/putting her head on someone else’s body, but she did not look like this on the cover of Playboy. Oh, and the other thing I know about her is that she was all up on my boyfriend Gerard Butler once, and he had to shoot her down (because he loves me). So basically, I have good reason for not cutting her a break.

…Maybe she just has really weird muscle development? Or she’s lost a lot of weight recently (from lipo)? Why does her skin look like that? I mean, beyond the sun damage and the orange. So, so lumpy. It’s strange.

Kelly Bensimon in Miami on March 24, 2010. Credit: BRJ/Fame Pictures