Emma Thompson: ‘Romantic love is a myth and quite dangerous’

Emma Thompson did some Oscar-campaigning in recent months for her indie film, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. She ended up getting nominated for a BAFTA, a Golden Globe and a bunch of critics awards for her performance, but she didn’t get the Oscar nomination. And I think she’s fine with it – for years now, she’s been anti-Hollywood and anti-awards season, or perhaps she’s just very, very British. In any case, Emma spoke to the Radio Times podcast about the Oscars and about whether she believes in “romantic love.” Some highlights:

Romantic love is a myth: “It’s philosophically helpful and uplifting to remember that romantic love is a myth and quite dangerous. We really do have to take it with a massive pinch of salt. To think sensibly about love and the way it can grow is essential. Long-term relationships are hugely difficult and complicated. If anyone thinks that happy ever after has a place in our lives, forget it.”

She felt ill every time she’s gone to the Oscars: “Both times I had to do the Oscars I got ill, quite seriously ill, before and during it. I just found the pressure of it and glare of it too much … It’s sort of astonishing – and then you think you want to lie down in a dark room. You think, ‘Please don’t ask me any questions or make me talk about myself.’ It’s horrible. I quite quickly developed a sort of allergy to that, but it’s sort of part of the job.”

On fame: “Fame doesn’t happen overnight, it’s gradual. I’m lucky from that point of view; I think it must be awful if you have to deal with being James Bond, or one of those people who really can’t go anywhere. To lose your anonymity completely … it’s not very pleasant for you or the people around you. If that’s what you want, to be recognised, then I suppose you can deal with it, and it’s not so intrusive. But it’s not what I wanted, and I think it’s a highly toxic condition.”

[From The Daily Mail and The Guardian]

I don’t think romantic love is a “myth,” but I agree that you need more than romantic love or sexual chemistry to make a marriage or partnership work long-term. That’s basically what she’s saying – you need to do the work and you can’t expect “romantic love” to be enough to sustain a relationship. But romantic love isn’t a myth! As for the stuff about the Oscars… I’ve never really understood why so many British actors are so anti-Oscars or anti-Hollywood in general. They pride themselves on “keeping it real” and being authentic… and then they cozy up to the Windsors. Emma does that. She’s anti-Hollywood-fakery and then she cozies up to King Charles and the rest of them.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Emma Thompson, Greg Wise and Gaia Wise at the UK Premiere of Shekhar Kapur’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It”? at The Odeon Luxe, in Leicester Square, London WC2H 7JY on Monday 13 February 2023.,Image: 756008290, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: Rights Managed, Model Release: no, Credit line: Sue Andrews / Avalon

Emma Thompson photographed at The 2023 EE BAFTA Film Awards Arrivals at the Royal Festival Hall in London, UK on 19 February 2023.,Image: 757152831, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Julie Edwards / Avalon

Emma Thompson attending the EE BAFTA Awards 2023 at the Royal Festival Hall in Waterloo, London, United Kingdom.,Image: 757163827, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Cat Morley / Avalon

Emma Thompson and Greg Wise attending the EE BAFTA Awards 2023 at the Royal Festival Hall in Waterloo, London, United Kingdom.,Image: 757561922, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: To licence this image, email for more information., Model Release: no, Credit line: Cat Morley / Avalon

London, UNITED KINGDOM – Emma Thompson, the actress, attends the BFI Opening Night Gala of Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical World Premiere Red Carpet Arrivals at the Southbank Centre in London. Pictured: Emma Thompson, Greg Wise, BACKGRID USA 5 OCTOBER 2022 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / UK: +44 208 344 2007 / *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*